ELEVENTH on ELEVEN ♥♥♥

1:36 AM


HAPPY ELEVENTH MONTHSARY, BBYBOY. ♥♥♥

BUT...

Tonight, I ain't sleeping good. Not because there's no g'night calls/text. We both know it best, and this has been ongoing for months. I don't know how we survived all these months, still I wanna find a way to build your trust in me. M.fucking bothered by it okay, I know you think everything is a lie, but I always doubt how you could love a girl you can't trust.

And I Google-ed for this:

Causes Anxiety

Lack of trust is detrimental to a relationship and frequently culminates in termination of the relationship. The partner lacking trust may experience ongoing anxiety. The anxiety tends to increase when the location of the other partner is unknown. Any actions not completely revealed before they occur, or if unplanned within minutes after occurring, are perceived as deceptive by the anxious or distrustful partner. The distrustful partner may even begin spying on the other partner. Things such as following the car from a distance to verify the partner's destination and reviewing the partner's sent and received cell phone calls are common in relationships that lack trust.

Causes Arguments

The lack of trust tends to cause frequent arguments in the relationship. Arguments occur over intrusions of privacy, suspicious activity, as well as the lack of trust that caused them. Little time is spent actually having fun together because the partners are frequently angry at each other and fighting. Therefore, the partners are unable to enjoy each other's company due to perceived or actual activities that violate the boundaries of the relationship. They may begin to avoid each other. Some partners may begin retaliating by doing whatever behavior the other partner has been accusing them of doing. That results in justifying the suspicious partner's actions and score keeping by both parties of each other's infractions.

Decreases Self-esteem

Usually partners in a relationship build each other up over time, increasing each other's self-esteem by their constant love, attention and acceptance. Unfortunately, the constant attention received in a relationship that lacks trust has the opposite affect. Because the attention received involves suspicion as opposed to acceptance, self-esteem begins to diminish. Words of love may ring hollow in the ears of the partner always being investigated, questioned or followed. Without counseling and outside help, a lack of trust in a relationship usually ends up killing the relationship.

Right, you're digging for something that doesn't exist, you get it? I guess that's what I've been trying to tell you for months, but it doesn't seem to sink in... This is worse than hell. Seriously. I swore you made up all that horrid past bout' me in your head when your imaginations runs you wild. Ok, I admit that it's partially true but not how you made it seem like. And, I'm sick of speaking bout' it because I've been repeating it like a broken record yet... Unchanged.

Fuck my life and yours. We've made it to the Eleventh month tonight, but our hearts still aren't altered to how we are supposed to be. So what's holding you back, Baby, can you have a little faith.

So boy forget about the world cuz it's gon' be me and you tonight
I wanna make your beg for ya, then imma make you swallow your pride
Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world
Like I'm the only one that you'll ever love
Like I'm the only one who knows your heart
Like I'm the only one that's in command
Cuz I'm the only one who understands how to make you feel like a man, yeah
Want you to make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world

Only one...

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